Only what you can handle

Somehow the world/universe, this thing called life knows exactly how much you can handle and ensures you bump up against that threshold at least once.  Arguably, I am experiencing one of the most challenging periods of my life right now.   It is a time where there is so much positive and so much negative happening all at the same time.

The positive?  

I have a beautiful and amazing 16 month old son who is the blood that runs through my body.  He is a part of me; I relish his every breath, smile, laugh and also anguish over his pains, frustrations and tears.  

The negative? 

I'm going through a very difficult divorce with little to no support.

If I'm not careful and allow it, I could find myself missing the most memorable of moments with my son because I get too focused on the negatives.  Everyday my son does at least one or two new things.  He learns so fast and is not afraid to try anything!  Feeling down and dealing with hurt and resentment are emotions that I do have to go through and process in order to move on and heal, but you better believe it wont be while Owen is awake!

My mother has always been a religious person, but I wasn't aware of just how much until after she and my father divorced after 38 years of marriage.  Although as a family until I was in 8th grade we all went to catholic church every sunday and said the lords prayer before dinner; to me, it seemed more like we were just going through the motions.  I didn't feel like religion was an integral part of our life, at least not my life anyway.  But alas, once my mother was on her own, she felt free to practice and be as vocal as she wanted about her faith.  And now given what's going on in my life, I can appreciate that.  

God must be bumping me up against my threshold right now because I need his help.  My company recently hired a new Vice President who sensed I was going through a difficult time and has been a great source of advice.  I am thankful for him being brought into my life just 5 months ago.  The timing cannot be a coincidence.   Here is the advice I have to keep reminding myself to take when I'm feeling overwhelmed and especially when I see my own negativity keeping me from enjoying the amazing positivity right in front of me.  

I hope you find the following helpful.

• respond vs. react – you can't control others behaviors if you can't control your own
• We sometimes have to live in a situation but the situation doesn't have live in us
• Focus on your circle of influence (things you control) and not your circle of concern (things you can't control)
• Don't ruminate on the negative actions or behaviors of others – if you catch yourself ruminating change the channel
• Focus your thoughts on a positive future state which you can envision with optimistic conviction – do not allow the logical part of your mind to worry about "the how" just stay optimistically focused on "the what" and let a higher life force than your own take charge of "the how"