Moving forward

Lets take a look at what's happened since my last post about our first date after our time apart.
You and I did go to Boston for the Red Sox trip birthday present.  My father did move out and into my Uncle's house (his younger brother) back in Traverse City, Michigan.  We did go to Nashville together for Labor Day weekend.  Overall,  I was enjoying the relationship we had agreed upon fairly well until we came up on our 2nd year anniversary.  Trying to pick out an anniversary card brought tears to my eyes.  It's hard to look for something that says, "Hey, thanks for keeping me around some of the time".  Your card to me was beautiful and warmed my heart.  On the contrary, my card to you was something along those incredibly wishy-washy lines and it hurt to recognize our relationship in this manner.  It was in that moment I could see a stark difference in how you viewed us versus how I viewed us.

I didn't really understand what I meant to you given that you didn't want to get married or even live together, maybe not never, but not for a very long time (your words).  It was incredibly confusing for me to hear you say you love me, but know you only want me in your life some of the time.  Those two concepts did not make sense to me at all.  So when I told you on our anniversary how terrible I felt and how hard finding a card was, I came right out and said, I don't understand what I mean to you.   Your response was, "You mean everything to me".  You made the point that you were worried combining our lives together would put too much strain on the relationship.  For you it seemed, having dates and arranging time for us to be together kept things lighter, less stressful and more playful between us.  For me, I think I reached a point where I felt like if we aren't moving towards building a life together, what are we even doing?  At some point I heard you say you wanted it both ways, for us to share our lives AND still keep everything good about having some separation.  So all of that was out there in the relationship.

Fast forward to my Birthday - you asked me and Owen to move in with you.  I said yes.  I cried tears of joy.  Suddenly I felt like you really did love me and I was finally "worthy".