Finally!!!! Holy shit! That seemed like an entire lifetime between the last time I saw you to our dinner date last night.
After we agreed a handful of days ago to have dinner, as that day got closer, my stomach began to get more and more knotted and even the day of left me feeling nauseous at times. I had no idea what to expect from you with respect to our previous closeness and intimacy. Would you want to hug me? Kiss me? I was nervous how I was going to react to seeing you finally also. I was afraid I would break down in tears of either or both overwhelming joy in seeing you again and also releasing all the pent up hurt I've felt over the past 31 days.
Luckily, you came to my house to pick me up and I met you outside in the garage where we had privacy to react and respond without judgmental eyes. We said Hi and then hugged. I hugged you so hard and I could feel my breath get ragged. My eyes welled with tears, but I held them back. Pretty sure I heard some attempted suppressed gasping come out of my mouth too, but all in all, I think I kept myself together quite well given what chaos was rolling around inside.
It was an exciting date. It felt much like our first in the way we looked at each other, but like one of our best in the familiarity and warmth of our closeness. It was real, it was love, it was respect. It was nice to have back.
Our next date is planned, with your family for Mother's day brunch. I'm looking forward to seeing them all again and how the rest of the day will unfold.
Together again and it feels so good.
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