Boredom

I returned to the work force from Maternity leave on January 3rd.  Often times, people say the transition back to work for a first time mom can be very difficult.  I would have to agree, especially given my situation.  Not only did my transition include going back to work full time, but I also was starting at a new company in a new industry, which happened to acquire my old company while I was on leave.  Also, the department in which I was placed was brand new, no budget,  void of any concrete deliverables,  processes or rules of engagement within the organization.  Oh and did I mention I was the director of this department managing a subset of my previous companies employees,  3 of them plus an existing employee who had been with the new company for about 3-4 years?

I tried my ass off for 3-4 months to set up a Vision, Mission statement, Goals, Rules of engagement, power point presentations describing what we did and what each person did within the group all the while trying to deliver 3 priority requests of the president.  My boss happened to be too busy with "other priorities" to provide any feedback as we completed the priority requests on time.  My emails were ignored, my meetings with him, if not canceled all together, were cut short often by 45 minutes or more because of more important interruptions.  By the 4th month, I was pissed off and tired of trying when my own boss seemed not to care.  The morale in our team suffered since I was unable to provide answers to my team who still felt their own sense of not fitting in yet too.   Our team's deliverables were being criticized by others and my own boss did not step up to defend us, rather he hung us out to dry saying he did not know what we were working on, etc.  This is when I decided I wouldn't be working for him for long. 

I didn't know if that meant I would be quitting my job all together or if I would be looking for a new position within the company.  Frankly, I was wanting to quit my job, period and stay at home with my little guy instead of my husband who neglected to secure day care or get a job do it.  I was seething mad inside and out, with no ability to illicit change for the better.  By month 6, I had found the courage to go to the President and deliver a presentation that contained an organizational chart for my team that did not have my name on it.  I wasn't sure what the outcome was going to be, but I knew I couldn't continue as I had been.  I was on the verge of a breakdown, of that, I was certain.

Luckily, the president was impressed with my presentation and wanted to help me find my way in the organization.   This meeting was on June 20th and it's now October 12th... I am just now, unofficially, being moved into another department into a new role.  I've been bored at work (if you count when I really gave up) for about 5 months.  If I must continue to work and be the provider for my family, it would be nice to finally have a "home" in this organization and be a positive contributor.  Otherwise, it would probably be in everyone's best interest for me to leave.... AND BE ABLE TO STAY AT HOME WITH MY LITTLE MAN!

Ok, Vent over.

It's all about respect

Yesterday, as I was meeting my therapist at 7:10 am and discussing my interpersonal expectations in my personal life, it occurred to me that I also apply the same levels of expectation in my business/career life.  Which got me wondering, should those expectations be the same?  Is it even possible to shift from one level to another like flipping the 9-5 switch, so to speak?

Good, bad or indifferent; the answer for me is they are one in the same.  Largely I think, because what I do to earn a living or occupy 66% of my waking hours contributes to how I define myself.  Monday through Friday, I'm 66% Director and Project Manager.  I'm always 100% wife and 100% mom, but I'm also 66% who I am at work.  That's enough time for me to really lay some claim to that personality as a part of who I am.  Please excuse the funky math, but I hope you follow what I'm saying.

Now the foundation has been laid, all that mumbo jumbo is to basically say, I expect to be spoken to and treated the same way in and outside of  the office, in and out of the home,  as well as, in and out of public.  Likewise, I hold myself to the same expectation that I will speak to and treat everyone in each of those contexts the same.  It seems pretty fundamental and obvious, doesn't it?  Then, why is it so hard?

Here are my expectations while I'm at work:

• While someone is talking, pay attention and do not interrupt
• If you do not agree with someone or something, it's ok to say so, but be prepared to justify why 
• Realize your opinions may be dismissed for any number of reasons, but you shouldn't take it personally
• Be rational at all times 
• If you have the ability and approval to drive action or create change, do so if it is the "right thing to do" and will better align with your personal philosophy or vision
• If someone sends you an email, acknowledge receipt at a minimum, if it's likely you wont have the ability to address the email completely in a timely manner
• "Timely" can be perceived differently from person to person.  Be specific i.e. 2 days, 2 hours, 2 weeks. etc.
• You may not like everyone you work with, but be friendly and courteous at all times.  Nobody likes an unsavory working environment.

I could probably go on and create an incredibly robust list here, but the point I'm trying to illustrate is these sets of rules do translate from environment to environment.   It really bothers me when people forget some of the fundamental rules of engaging with people, especially when it occurs between people whom you feel should have a higher degree of respect for one another.

You know that old saying that goes something like:  Put a nail in a tree every time you say or do something to hurt someone's feelings.  Take one out every time you say your sorry.  You might be able to remove all the nails, but the holes they leave behind will be there forever.  People may forgive, but they rarely forget.