It's all about respect

Yesterday, as I was meeting my therapist at 7:10 am and discussing my interpersonal expectations in my personal life, it occurred to me that I also apply the same levels of expectation in my business/career life.  Which got me wondering, should those expectations be the same?  Is it even possible to shift from one level to another like flipping the 9-5 switch, so to speak?

Good, bad or indifferent; the answer for me is they are one in the same.  Largely I think, because what I do to earn a living or occupy 66% of my waking hours contributes to how I define myself.  Monday through Friday, I'm 66% Director and Project Manager.  I'm always 100% wife and 100% mom, but I'm also 66% who I am at work.  That's enough time for me to really lay some claim to that personality as a part of who I am.  Please excuse the funky math, but I hope you follow what I'm saying.

Now the foundation has been laid, all that mumbo jumbo is to basically say, I expect to be spoken to and treated the same way in and outside of  the office, in and out of the home,  as well as, in and out of public.  Likewise, I hold myself to the same expectation that I will speak to and treat everyone in each of those contexts the same.  It seems pretty fundamental and obvious, doesn't it?  Then, why is it so hard?

Here are my expectations while I'm at work:

• While someone is talking, pay attention and do not interrupt
• If you do not agree with someone or something, it's ok to say so, but be prepared to justify why 
• Realize your opinions may be dismissed for any number of reasons, but you shouldn't take it personally
• Be rational at all times 
• If you have the ability and approval to drive action or create change, do so if it is the "right thing to do" and will better align with your personal philosophy or vision
• If someone sends you an email, acknowledge receipt at a minimum, if it's likely you wont have the ability to address the email completely in a timely manner
• "Timely" can be perceived differently from person to person.  Be specific i.e. 2 days, 2 hours, 2 weeks. etc.
• You may not like everyone you work with, but be friendly and courteous at all times.  Nobody likes an unsavory working environment.

I could probably go on and create an incredibly robust list here, but the point I'm trying to illustrate is these sets of rules do translate from environment to environment.   It really bothers me when people forget some of the fundamental rules of engaging with people, especially when it occurs between people whom you feel should have a higher degree of respect for one another.

You know that old saying that goes something like:  Put a nail in a tree every time you say or do something to hurt someone's feelings.  Take one out every time you say your sorry.  You might be able to remove all the nails, but the holes they leave behind will be there forever.  People may forgive, but they rarely forget.