Endurance

[en-doo r-uh ns, -dyoo r-] 

noun

1.

the fact or power of enduring or bearing pain, hardships, etc.

2.

the ability or strength to continue or last, especially despite fatigue,stress, or other adverse conditions; stamina:

He has amazing physical endurance.

3.

lasting quality; duration:

His friendships have little endurance.

4.

something endured, as a hardship; trial.

 

We are nearing 60 days of knowing, liking, and now loving each other.  We eclipsed one holiday in Thanksgiving and I feel quite fortunate for the timing of this holiday.   General circumstance and also the newness of our relationship played a role in us spending this holiday apart from each other.  We did communicate a lot throughout the day; it was nice to keep in touch with you at various intervals despite the busy happenings that come with the holiday.  Thank you for keeping me close in your thoughts, as you were close in mine.

 

I call this entry Endurance because although my feelings of love for you are fresh, and my heart still skips beats when I see you or hear the 'ding' of my phone in anticipation of a message from you, now is also the time I want to be mindful of the stresses of everyday life and their ability to erode away at even the most durable of things. I'm making a promise to myself to always remember you are a priority and to act accordingly.  I will be strong and endure through hardships such that our love stays strong and endures as well.  

 

I feel confident that I will get out what I put in and so I'm giving all of myself to you.  There's something freeing and joyous about letting go and trusting you. 

 

 

EEM & RMB bucket list

1. Watch a Sunset
2. Watch a Sunrise
3. Go to a Red Wings/Bruins game - DONE
4. Go Sailing
5. Road trip to the Ocean and include a sunset on the beach
6. Weekend Trip to Random Place for silly reason - DONE/Manchester
7. Visit Petoskey Michigan - DONE
8. Slow dance - DONE
9. Dress up and go out for New Years Eve - Kiss at Midnight = DONE
10. Make each other's favorite Dinner
11. Lay in bed on a Sunday Morning and have Coffee together = DONE
12. Travel to New Zealand
13. Go Fly Fishing in New York for salmon
14. Go skinny dipping
15. Couples Massage = DONE (sort of)
16. Make Glumpkie together
17. Travel to tropical island/place enjoy hammock and umbrella drinks
18. Go to an amusement park - DONE
19. Camping
20. Tubing
21. Formula 1 racing
22. Ride mechanical bulls
23. Go to a dude ranch
24. Grand Canyon
25. Ice Hotel
26. Broadway Musical
27. Louvre
28. Go to Greece & Mediterranean
29. Drive down the west coast - wine tasting - vineyard tours
30. Buy a Boat = DONE
31. Lay in bed all day together

Man in the Arena

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

― Theodore Roosevelt


Approaching date #9 this weekend, I contemplate this quote.  Yes, this quote and dating; seems like quite a stretch.  There is no war, nor do I expect to have my face marred by dust sweat or blood, but there is a worthy cause and a great devotion in front of me that I may openly opt into this weekend.   Opting in requires saying those un-retractable three words; I love you. 

I feel it happening.  It's crazy.  I know there is plenty about you that I don't know, but what I do know I'm so in love with.  Being the first one to say I love you is a scary thing.  I don't think I have ever been the first one to say it.  Falling in love for me as an adult has always been a slow, trust building type of love.
This love is different.  It's different in that you have a physiological effect on me, and not just in the hormonal attraction sort of way, but in an even more basic way.  My heart pounds harder and faster, I loose my breath, gasp for air and sometimes it brings me to tears of joy.  I want to jump in head first and show you I'm fully yours, I want to be your partner and take on all that life gives and takes.

You couldn't have said a more perfect statement the other day, "I'm going to appreciate the hell out of you".  It's raw, speaks to me in a way as if you knew how important this is to me. You couldn't have said anything more meaningful to me taking my growing feelings for you and catapult them into I have to tell you I am falling in love with you realm.

So this weekend, I intend to throw myself into the arena.  I don't want to ever be a cold and timid soul who never knows victory nor defeat.  

 

Boyfriend/Girlfriend

At the same time we hit the 30 day mark, my Dad has moved in.  Calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend is also another milestone.  Blissful is the word that comes to mind when I think about how I feel when we are together, when we are talking on the phone or texting and even when I'm just thinking about you.  And I get to call you my boyfriend!  Somebody pinch me... no wait... don't pinch me... I don't want to wake up.

I keep wondering whether or not I've felt this much intensity for someone before.  I know I've been in love in the past and I'm telling myself that those times must have also felt like this and it's just that this experience is so fresh and rewarding after disappointing dates with numerous previous suitors. But part of me questions my rationalizing and downplaying of what is, quite honestly, the best feeling I've had for someone that I can recall, ever! 

Will this wind down over time?  Can it sustain if it's nurtured?  Do I know how to nurture it?  I never would have imagined a person could be this blissful and full of energy inside where you feel like you are going to explode with pure joy because you can't possibly handle this powerful emotion.

You're so real, so calming, accepting, perfect to me with your imperfections. More please :-)