How do you like them apples?

As a first time parent, I am constantly on the prowl for sharing new experiences with my little guy.  Last weekend I took him on an apple picking adventure, and to be clear, it's not as if apple picking in general was all that new of an adventure, but this time, there was a whole "festival" involved.  There was a bouncy castle, rock climbing wall, petting zoo, face painting, the whole nine yards.

I really enjoy taking him apple picking.  I'm not sure quite why this is such a fun and rewarding experience for me, but I love it.  I was so proud to see him tackle the bouncy castle on our way to the orchard, when just 3 months prior, he was hovering close to the wall in a similar bouncy castle at a local hot air balloon festival where I was sure he was going to end up crying and want to get out.  He's starting to explore his limits and test them.  I am literally watching him grow emotionally as well as physically.

So he tackled the castle like a champ and on our way we went to the orchard.  Once through the entrance way, we browsed the animals and petted the miniature horse (what's a petting zoo without a miniature horse?).  What caught his attention most was the rock climbing wall.  Sure enough, he asked to climb.  I must have asked him 4 times if he was sure and his dead set answer was consistently, "Yes".    So $5 later, he was getting outfitted with all the gear to be hoisted up.  And finally, it was his turn.

He listened patiently to the belay aid (if that's what you call it?) and his belt was hooked up.  Next he was hoisted up into the air about 4' off the ground.  I was amazed at his bravery!  He didn't really know what to do next and I could see a little bit of panic come across his sweet face, so I walked over and got his feet a little more organized to take the next step.  He took one step on his own and that was it.  He was done.  I made sure to praise him for being so brave and I meant it with all my heart.
I believe he even said, "Maybe next time".... he would go farther up.

Now on to the task at hand, actual apple picking.  I bought us two half peck bags so he could have his own bag and off we went into the orchard.  I had every intention of picking the best apples to be used for apple sauce and pie making, however, once we were among the trees, I could not possible thwart my little one's enthusiasm for finding "cute apples".  He would walk up to a tree branch and say, "Here's a cute one" and pick it.  I tried to explain that we were looking for big red apples, but hey... at least he wasn't grabbing them off the ground like he had the year before.  The adventure became even more rewarding as my little guy started to call to me, "come on mom, over here!"

Yes, he ruled the day and my heart.  We finished with two full bags partially containing viable baking apples and the rest "cute" apples... I also ended up carrying him (at 40lbs), two bags full of apples and our diaper bag all the way back to the station to pay for our harvest.  I was a sweaty, yet pleased mess. 

Wrapping the day up with a fresh bottle of water, a couple of cider donuts and lastly a well deserved chocolate ice cream cone on our walk back to the car, I couldn't be more pleased.  Even when half of it dripped down his face and arm.

I love you OTB.

Vulnerability

As defined:

adj.

1.

a. Susceptible to physical or emotional injury.

b. Susceptible to attack: "We are vulnerable both by water and land, without either fleet or army" (Alexander Hamilton).

c. Open to censure or criticism; assailable.

2.

a. Liable to succumb, as to persuasion or temptation.

b. Games In a position to receive greater penalties or bonuses in a hand of bridge. In a rubber, used of the pair of players who score 100 points toward game.

 This definition makes me ponder.  It presents itself as a negative attribute, however, when I think of it in the context of the human condition, I get conflicted.  In my recent therapy sessions (yes, I see a therapist), I've been asked to try to be more vulnerable to others whom I admire; let them in and allow them to see my weaknesses in hopes of receiving support I might not otherwise have received if I remained closed off.  This is incredibly difficult for me.  I suppose I can attribute some of it to the feeling as though I've often had to fend for myself for quite some time.  Those that I've perhaps relied upon in the past have either not met my expectations or let me down considerably.  

In my family and for those who are close to me, if they haven't said it directly, would agree I am known as being the "Rock".   Harboring burdens, helping those in need, lending empathetic ears all the while keeping my own world turning in a way I've prescribed as the right way.

I don't see being vulnerable as a weakness, necessarily, rather a strength that I have yet to harness or posses.