I'm sorry I'm not sorry

I never asked for any of this and now you are blaming me.
This is repeat of history if there ever was one, and you'll never even notice it.

You asked me if I would consider you doing renovations on my house.  My reply?  I would consider it, as long as we both got what we needed.  The context?  You needed work/money and I needed renovations.  Had I known you were hoping these renovations would lead to us getting back together, I never would have agreed to have you do the work had I known you had ulterior motives.

You were not used.  I've paid you 3 times and twice now without even the benefit of an invoice.  Sure you gave me a discounted hourly rate, but did I asked for that?  No!  Did I say thank you when I saw it?  Yes.

You inherently keep reminding me what a good decision I've made, despite how often you want to tell me how different you are.

You may be different.  You may even be better than you were, but I want the best or nothing at all.  
I've worked hard my entire life to be who I am and who I continue to try to be.  You knocked me down farther than I've ever been knocked down before and I'm still rebuilding.

Now I'm angry to be in this place yet again.  Why do I let down my guard?  Can't I just be who I am?  Why do you have to mistake my kindness for opportunity?  I don't want to be mean and cold.

Always wishing

"The Nicest Thing"

All I know is that you're so nice
You're the nicest thing I've seen
I wish that we could give it a go
See if we could be something

I wish I was your favourite girl
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world
I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile
I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style

I wish you couldn't figure me out
But you always wanna know what I was about
I wish you'd hold my hand
When I was upset
I wish you'd never forget
The look on my face when we first met

I wish you had a favourite beauty spot
That you loved secretly
'Cause it was on a hidden bit
That nobody else could see
Basically, I wish that you loved me
I wish that you needed me
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars,
Actually I meant three

I wish that without me your heart would break
I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake
I wish that without me you couldn't eat
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep

Look, all I know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen
And I wish that we could see if we could be something
Yeah I wish that we could see if we could be something

-Kate Nash

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nt3el-QY2i8