It has been months since I've posted last, and I must say, I needed the time away. There were many times in the past months where I felt completely isolated and alone. Visiting my family over labor day weekend was a huge boost to my reserves in terms of feeling loved and supported. I've never felt such a strong connection to my roots as I did then.
Anyway, I'd like to give a brief update on the status of my divorce for probably the 2nd to last time and then move this blog into something more personally fulfilling. More to come on what that will be later in this post.
UPDATE: My home, which was originally up for sale as part of an initial settlement proposal, has been taken off the market; and just in the nick of time I might add. It had been 5 months of keeping the home looking like a hotel, constantly picking up after a toddler and being on 24 hours notice for any potential viewings. We probably had a total of 20-30 people walk through the home during that time and the feedback was always the same. "Love the house, hate the location". I can totally appreciate that sentiment as we live on the corner of a relatively busy street and also close the airport.
So there is always traffic noise to contend with as well as somewhat predictable flight noise. I often curse living in this home for the same reasons, however, as we got into the 5th month of being on the market, the closing in of my son's birthday and also all the other holidays and family visitors I was planning, the idea of going through the selling/buying and moving process smack in the middle of the holidays was not something I wanted to deal with. So, I did what I felt was right and offered a reasonable offer to my ex to buy him out. He finally accepted informally. But in true Murphy's law style, that was also the time at which people viewing the home seemed to have serious interest in the home. Luckily, we were able to push the signatures through just in the nick of time to avoid potential offers on the home. And now, the home is mine. My son calls it home, it's the only "home" he's ever known, and I'm happy to stay here as long as it makes sense financially, logistically and emotionally.
The actual divorce settlement has been signed by all parties and is awaiting a judge's signature. It's been about 3 weeks since it's been submitted to the court, so my expectation is this signature could happen any day now. My ex has removed all his belongings that he "wanted" and once that judge's signature is in place, I can choose to do with those leftover items of his as I choose. Granted there will be a financial impact to "discarding" some things, but I also anticipate there may be some financial gain over other items. I haven't really taken the time yet to evaluate the leftover mess, but that's forthcoming.
I'm trying very hard to move on mentally and changing the locks and retrieving the garage door opener from my ex was a critical milestone in that effort. I AM feeling a sense of personal ownership of the home again; a sense of privacy and that this is my sanctuary. I wasn't able to feel this before two weekends ago. So now, my life will be about figuring out exactly what it is I want out of life. What are the things that I enjoy? I tend to be a "Pleaser" so I find myself a bit at odds of figuring out what really makes me happy. I get consumed by my responsibilities and trying to do the right things, I often loose my sense of self gratification. That and providing the most nurturing and happy environment for my son are my most important goals in the near and far term.
So, what you can expect from my blog going forward will be messages dedicated to my progress in those areas as well as being a placeholder for the memorable moments I have with my son day in and day out.
