Yeah, sometimes I leave a little cracker on my face for later too!
But seriously, I have always hoped and dreamed about having children someday so I could nurture a little piece of myself in this world to become the best little human being possible. I look forward to every moment where I can share a new experience with him, show him a new animal, hear a new sound, taste new foods, learn new words, and explore his physical abilities as he grows. If I could give myself a bizarro name for how I perceive my responsibly to him, I'd call myself his "life sherpa". It's my goal to help him succeed in his quests and to make the experience as positive and rewarding as possible.
This morning, not only did I recognize the physical attributes he and I share, but I noticed some emotional ones as well. I'm not proud of how I found out my little boy is sensitive, just like me. He was upstairs playing with telephone, because he LOVES to pretend to talk and push all the buttons. Well, somehow, he got the magic combination of pushing buttons to get it on speaker phone and then pushing Talk which started to dial somebody . I came running up those stairs as fast as I could and quickly grabbed the phone out of his little hands to hang up. I'm sure the look on my face throughout this mad dash to get the phone was scary to him because as soon as I secured the phone and stopped the call from completing, I looked into his face to see his little lower lip slowly start to pout and a frown started to emerge. He was silent but very sad and he fell into my hug as I embraced him to say I was sorry for hurting his feelings and everything was OK. I held him for a few minutes rocking him and reassuring him. He never actually vocally started crying, but when we ready to move on and go downstairs, I saw that he had a silent little tear running down his cheek.
I felt awful. So hard to see yourself in those moments, but I know can empathize better than most when I see him getting upset over doing something that made someone I cared for unhappy. I used to cry too.
